Writing Effective Sales Letters – Part 3

The Lead

The Lead In is the copy directly beneath your headline.  This is meant to supplement your message. You should be able to just read the headline and the lead in to get the whole idea of your sales message.

This is a test for you to do with any sales letter you’re writing, or reading to see if the sales letter is a good one.

If you were only to read the headline and the lead in would the whole thing make sense to you?

Would you want to read on?’

Don’t overwhelm people with too much information up front.  This is a basic selling tactic, and should be applied to your sales letters.  Selling in person or with a sales letter is the same concept.  You probably wonder how some sales letters can be 20 plus pages, and its because the last ten pages are getting back to the point of your product, yourself, and your company.  So, how you do this is You offer the guarantee. You bring up their pain again. You’re basically looping in the last half of the sales letter.

A good way to  by giving them all your greatest stuff right from the beginningnd boom, boom,

boom, right up front, ten, fifteen points not only do you overwhelm people and overload them but

you don’t have any great compelling facts to loop with if someone’s on the fence. So if they read

– if they read half your letter and they’re ‘hmmm…seems pretty good’ and then all of a sudden

bam! You hit them with your best thing on page sixteen and they’re like ‘Wow! Then I’ll buy!’

You get it? So that’s really why you want to leave your powder dry.

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The Body Copy

Next the copy, the body copy, and this really is the heart and soul of your sales pitch and it often

starts with ‘Dear’ and then the person’s – ‘Dear John’ or ‘Dear Future Millionaire’ – my sense is

when you say ‘Dear Future Millionaire’ I would always if you can use the person’s name. So if

you can’t and you can come up with a catchy thing like ‘Dear Future Millionaire’ or something

along those lines but again what we want to do here is make this as personal as possible. Okay?

So here are some of the mistakes in the body of the five most common mistakes that people

will make.

So let’s go through these here and number one is having a big, massive paragraph of text.

And again think like a Straight Line sales letter, a Straight Line sales pitch, we don’t have one

whole page where you’re not interacting with the person. So you need stopping off points. The

same thing goes with your sales letters or else your prospects lose interest.

Use sub-headings to guide your reader through the letter like moving someone down the

Straight Line. Again where you say ‘You follow what I am saying here? You see what I am

saying?’ the same thing goes with these little sub-heads to your sales letter where you have like

one thing that’s bigger and bolder then the rest and centered in the middle. That’s your stopping

off point which gives the reader a chance to catch their breath and also a chance almost to

implicitly to agree with what you’ve said so far. So when they get to a stopping off point and they

read another headline they keep reading. What they’ve done is they’ve actually in their own mind

created some consistency ‘Wow! This makes sense. I will read forward.’

So what’s happening is you’re creating this thing of consistency where every time they get to a

stopping off point they move forward again. So you’re going to dramatically increase your

closing rate like that too with these breaks and these little mini leads in the middle. Okay? So

very, very important, the sub-heads.

Next use color in your sales letter and use italics and bolds and what those three things

represent: color, italicizing, all caps and larger fonts – that’s your tonality to emphasize

your very, very important points.

So when you’re writing a sales letter you’ll notice that well written letters some things will be in

red, some things will be italicized, some times there’ll be like three dots after a line where there

should be grammatically there should be a comma but very often in a sales letter you’ll use three

dots. If you try to do that when you’re writing a book like I wrote ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ the

editor will throw it back and they’ll say ‘What are you giving me all these…’ they’re call ellipsis’

they’ll say ‘What are you giving me all these ellipsis for? You know these should be a comma.’

But the difference is in a sales letter where the goal is about them buying your product and you’re

having a one sided conversation the ellipsis offer these sort of breaks and these long pauses that

give the rhythm to the paragraph and allow you to insert your tonality.

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So remember to use color, to use italics, to use ellipsis when you can, and that’s what punctuates

your letter for tonality.

Next, use bullets to stack your benefits. This is very, very important and this is when you get

into certain sections where you’re really going to drive home the benefits. Stack them with bullet

points. Don’t just write – don’t write like ‘Hey, let me tell you that you’re going to get this.

You’re going to get that. You’re going to get this.’ And it’s all like comma this, comma that,

comma that and it’s one big paragraph with nine commas or nine semi-colons. You know ‘you

learn the seven things to do that’, ‘the four ways to do that’ and it’s all one paragraph. No, no,

no! Don’t do that!

What you want to do is put bullet points and each benefit is it’s own separate bullet and they’re

stacked because what happens is that the way the human brain processes information visually it

sees them stacked together and it becomes a bigger – where they’re like ‘Whoa! Look at this big

thing of bullets’ and it’s just like ‘Wow! Look at all that value’ so you’re stacking value. Okay?

The next is three – this is now your two biggest mistakes – is the complete lack of energy in

your sales letter.

Now this is again Straight Line technology – this is bottled enthusiasm I speak about in my

seminars and, of course, in the home study course about that thing in your gut, that chi right?

That has to be in your sales letter, that enthusiasm. Your words need to explode with excitement.

You have to talk it out. Write the way you speak and use your in person sales pitch, use your own

pitch, your Straight Line in person pitch to help you find the right words.

Go through a Straight Line presentation and see what words you use when you’re sounding

enthusiastic and recreate that in your sales letter using the same words and the right punctuation.

And don’t forget to use short sentences like staccato-like beats and an upbeat pace when you’re

writing. Don’t make these long drawn out sentences because people will tune out and remember

don’t think that just in terms of enthusiasm in exclamation points only get you so far. Okay? Yes,

you can use exclamation points but they’re not to be used in substitution for enthusiasm. They’re

as an adjunct. They can sort of take it to another level but you need – the enthusiasm comes from

the tonality. It comes from the language patterns. You see how I am speaking right now? It

comes from tonality and language patterns that we use. That sort of stuff.

So that’s the story with that. I am sorry my phone rang there. We’re going to go a little bit over

here because there’s a lot of information so I am probably going to have to cut the Q&A out for

today. We can do that next week because I still have more I want to talk to you about sales

letters, okay?

So let’s move on to mistake number three here which is focusing on features not on the


And this is an old lesson and I am sure – for those of you who have been through my seminar,

any seminar that’s more than a few hours, I go crazy with this whole thing about features versus

©2010 Global Motivation Inc. All rights reserved.

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benefits. You’ve got to have the benefits not the features and we’ve heard this before but so often

we still focus on features.

So remember I want you to connect every single thing you say back to your – connect it back to

the customer. How does it improve their life? So if you hand somebody – let’s say it’s a T.V. set.

I am looking at a T.V. here that’s why I said the T.V. set – and I am going to buy a T.V. set and I

go in and they say ‘It has 10,000 – 1080 pixels, a zillion mgs of – megahertz movement thing.

It’s got internet access for this or that’ and ten features of the T.V. I don’t give a shit! I – the

benefit is it makes a beautifully clear picture for extraordinary viewing. It’s so easy to use. One

touch easy to use. That’s connected back to my benefit not that it’s got 10,000 pixels or whatever

that means. That’s not a benefit. That’s a feature. The benefit is the clearest viewing possible,

unbelievably life-like images.

So remember always connect back to benefits and if you can key the benefits in to how it reduces

their pain threshold. So the pain threshold if you were marketing a T.V. set – a high definition

super duper T.V. to a bunch of football fanatics the pain is that they watch T.V. and really have

not been able to feel like they were really on the field and they sort of lose out on that excitement,

that sense of being there and really seeing things unfold. Well, you know, the benefits can be

‘now you’ll feel like you’re there in the field. It’s so clear. You’ll see the sweat pouring off the

football player through his helmet. You’ll hear the grunts and that’. Do you get it? So that’s –

those are your benefits versus the features. Okay?

And then next this is very important on benefits is give them or offer them at least a

glimpse of the solution. In other words, you future pace them! Remember in a sales pitch, in a

Straight Line sales pitch what you do is you actually start saying ‘down the road what I can do for

you’ or ‘Just imagine down the road you’re in your – now you’re in your new car’ or ‘you bought

this product and you’re in business for yourself’ and you future pace their success and allow them

to get those feelings of being right and basically making a good decision and getting what they

want and getting at of pain and into pleasure. Okay?

Now here’s the issue, number five, and this is very important here and depending on what

countries that you’re in the laws are different so let me just – I am going to talk about here

now is testimonials which is social proof. It’s the same thing as social proof or consensus as

it’s sometimes called.

Nothing speaks louder than the words of other people who have actually used your product. Let

me give you an example. I giving a seminar this weekend in LAX the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and I want to

sell more seats to my seminar and I go out there and I give a webinar and I say ‘You’re going to

learn this. You’re going to learn that. You’re going to get this benefit. You’re going to get that

benefit. I am so great at what I do. I inspire people. I motivate people. I’ve written books. I’ve

made money’ all blah, blah, blah. ‘I, I, I, I’.

Well okay, if I can do that in a way that shows some humility with the right tonality and indeed I

have a very good track record so it’s not going to be that far fetched for me to go out there and

say some positive things about myself. That has some level of effectiveness. It’s not nearly as

©2010 Global Motivation Inc. All rights reserved.

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effective though as if I had five people who are in my seminars who get on and do video

testimonials or even written testimonials that say ‘I attended Jordan’s seminar and the next day I

went out and made a million dollars’. I am just making these numbers up. Or ‘I went out within a

week and launched my own business and my first year I made $60,000 – in my first month I

made $60,000 and I am on pace to make $1.4 million’. Another guy ‘I left Jordan’s seminar the

next day I went out and closed a $5 million dollar deal using the Straight Line technique’.

Now when you use testimonials wow! It really blows people away! So if you have good

testimonials then use them. Don’t leave them out and if you don’t know how to get testimonials

or you have any confusion I actually on the August 3rd transcript I actually showed you a system

for how you collect testimonials from your clients and in fact, I went through this in my last

seminar in Sydney and I’ve got a testimonial from someone saying ‘Wow! I am giving you a

testimonial about how you showed me how to get testimonials. I never knew I could do it the

way you do it and I ended up getting the two best testimonials of my life.’ You get it? So it was a

testimonial about giving testimonials.

Now let me just caution you on one thing here. Actually a couple of things. Number one,

especially for those of you in the United States, run your testimonials by your attorney. Don’t

take my word for it or your own gut instinct. Make sure that your testimonials are compliant at

the highest standard of FTC. There are certain laws that have been passed that are kind of murky

but they’re really – you can’t really be sure and I think they’re probably purposely written that

way so you don’t really know what you can and can’t do. It’s like more of a guideline. Okay? So

run your testimonials by your attorney. Obviously, of course, the obvious thing is you’ve got to

be fair and accurate. I mean they can’t be lies. They have to be backed up by proof.

But there’s another issue about that your testimonial has to be a typical result. It’s not okay to

show the three best results you’ve ever gotten and have a little fine print saying ‘these aren’t

typical’. So that’s the issue right now in the United States so I would just run your – just don’t

take my word for it. Run this by your attorney. Make sure your testimonials are compliant so you

don’t get yourself in trouble.

The Offer and Close of Your Sales Letter

Next is section three is the offer and the close of your sales letter. This is perhaps your most

crucial section and you need to – the first thing, by the way just so you know – the great thing

about teaching people this stuff is I get to crystallize my own mistakes in public. I make the same

mistakes. I teach you guys stuff that I actually go out and don’t follow my own advice sometimes

and I pay the price for it and that makes me a better teacher because I can go out, admit my

mistakes and never make them again. I’ll find new mistakes to make. But again I always said

‘Being in business for yourself’ and I think all the entrepreneurs on this call know this ‘it’s

almost about learning how to fail elegantly’ and learning how to be wrong sometimes and walk

away with a lot of powerful lessons and not too much financial pain.

So I try as hard as I can and when I make my mistakes and my errors that I minimize the pain and

maximize on the lesson side of things. Okay?

©2010 Global Motivation Inc. All rights reserved.

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So this is one thing here, a mistake that I recently made is I – the distinction here is you

want to present your offer in a clear organized fashion.

Well I did a webinar where I actually didn’t do that. I tried to accomplish too much and I was

having ‘well you could take this product or you can come to the live seminar. You could do this

and do that’ before I knew it it was too much going on and people became confused and

overwhelmed and I noticed on that particular webinar my response rate was dramatically – my

closing rate was dramatically reduced. So I learned a valuable lesson that it doesn’t matter how

good your content is – and I thought by the way when I left this webinar I was like ‘Wow! That

was like the best webinar I ever did, man. I really killed it. I really told these people’ and boom

the closing rate was lower.

Now clearly one reason why is because I changed up my offering structure and I did it kind of ass

backwards. In other words, I sold too many things at once and no one knew what they were really

getting for what so people don’t take action and the true irony of that is that Mike Koenigs had

actually come up with the structure that worked beautifully. The problem was I didn’t follow

Mike Koenigs structure. He came up with the structure for me that worked and converted and I

said – and it wasn’t, by the way, - my heart was in the right place. It wasn’t like I was trying to

reinvent the wheel for the sake of reinventing the wheel. I would say ‘Okay, I have a base line

there of what I got off one webinar. Now let me try to improve on that and change things and

keep changing it and changing it and see which is my best result.’

So I had – there was a method to my madness but the mistake I made though was I – is that

certain – it doesn’t matter how many times you test the same disciplines and rules still apply. So

when you’re testing you still have to test with clear and congruent offers that are organized. You

can’t test – don’t say ‘Hey let me just test this disorganized offer to see if it out performs the

organized offer’. It never will. You need to show – the things you really need show in the offer is

you have to lay out everything they’ll get step by step along with each benefit attached to it and

then you’ve got to show them how – not tell them, show them an example of how the value

dramatically exceeds the actual dollar amount they’re paying and then you ask for the sale and

then you ask for the order and you remind them of the benefits again and it’s a way of looping

back and that’s why you’ve got to be – the sales letter are very long.

It can be 20-30 pages because you’re constantly looping back and going through benefits and

building up certainty and then, of course, you need to build in urgency in your close. Give them a

reason to buy now, which could be for bonuses for immediate action which is what I love to do, a

decrease in price. That’s another really powerful motivator to take action now and also you can

use scarcity when you say ‘Listen, this is only a limited number of’ whatever it is your selling

that’s available.

Just I urge you when you’re using scarcity just make sure that you’re not making shit up. If

you’re saying there’s twelve left then you’ve got to raise your price when the first twelve sell.

You can’t just make it up and just go on because then you might get in trouble just because it’s

legally wrong but also it’s not ethical and just so you know you don’t want to put that shit out in

to the universe. Okay?

©2010 Global Motivation Inc. All rights reserved.

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Also, give them some choices on how to order. Don’t just say ‘Click on this link and fill out the

form’. Let them click here, call now, fax your order in here. Give people three or four different

options how to make an order. It’s about making it easy, easy, easy. Okay?

The P.S. Section

And lastly let’s focus on the P.S. section of things here and ironically and I am sure that some of

you have some experience with sales letters know that this section gets as much attention as the

headline. The P.S. – it’s the headline and the P.S. So for me I like headline, the lead in – the lead

that comes onto the headline, and the P.S. Those are the things that really, really matter. Not to

say that the stuff in between doesn’t close the deal as well but if these three things are off good

luck trying to have an effective sales letter.

So I guess the distinction here I am trying to say is don’t use the P.S. as like an after thought.

Don’t just like ‘It’s a P.S. or whatever’. Pay as much attention to your P.S. as to your headline.

This is your last punch. You’re last chance to get the message across to get people to take action

now and you use it to reinforce a point or add one last important detail to your message and that

is how you structure an effective P.S.

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